All the Single Ladies

I went on date numero tres with Winky the Third last night and I was a MESS.  We were meeting at 9:30 for drinks so of course I thought I had to pre-game my date with a HH, right?  I guzzled three glass of Pinot chased with a cool bottle of Bud Light - all on an empty stomach - before I met up with him.  I showed up pretty buzzed and 15 minutes late and thought the best thing in the world to do was order my kryptonite - Makers on the rocks.  But breaking news:  He ordered himself a glass of red wine!!

Our conversation went all over the place.  We talked about the one thing we have in common - a love of Taco Bell - and then on my second Makers I launched into a “you need to lighten up and be more fun and open and less you” conversation cause I’m a horrible person.  I don’t even clearly remember what I said or didnt say because I was on my way to blackout-ville.  UGH!  We also talked about music - where he tried to defend himself to me by showing me that he has good musical taste.  All I remember was the beatles…..maybe - and making snide remarks about how we’re all wrong for each other.

Anyways - I made it drunkenly home alone (after I refused his offer for a slumber party) and declared to C that I needed to “eat a village” which apparently meant me heating up a Chicken Pot Pie and snuggling with a bag of Ruffles in my bed - cause that’s how I woke up this morning - with only two drunken texts sent via my phone to him.  Double UGH!

However, I apparently have to do more than this to scare him off cause we are going to dinner tomorrow night.  I should have just let him see me snuggling Ruffles in my bed with last night’s party dress and smeared makeup.  That would surely have aided in the kiboshing of this unlikely match.