January 2009
21 posts
C sez...
I have not matched in over 24 hours. I meant to do it last night, but I got drunk and fell asleep. Woops. Anyways, I have big plans to do it tonight. I got an email today from a nice young man who wrote to me specifically because I enjoy Taco Bell and Dempsey’s, so we’ll probs get married. But in the interest of winning this biznatch, I should probably keep winking and IMing.
M,...
Feedback needed
Ok, so I’m thinking in my “In my own words” section I need a quote that really describes the essence of me… What about this one, from an interview with Mark Wahlberg in 1992:
“I think of myself as a very flavorsome rapper. I’m versatile and that’s what I think makes my style so dope. I did a dope rap on voting for MTV. I just started getting hip on...
“I dream of a woman who will inspire, support, and stimulate me in every way. She...”
– Match seems to think this guy and I have bright future together. Also, he mentions punching/hitting someone three times in his profile. Self-described meathead. I think they need to re-evaluate their algorithm.
-M
Actually promising!
I got a message from a guy who graduated from my college two years ahead of me. Now he’s a college professor. His profile is a little bit earnest for my taste (he uses the terms “special someone,” “someone special,” AND “future partner”), but I guess we can’t all be caustic sarcasmos. How does he look? Stop being so shallow. (Good not great, to...
more emailing
Okay, this Dennis guy is really sweet. Just very pleasant and interested. I think I forgot to say he was thirty-one in my last post? He’s thirty-one. I sent him an email back yesterday, just, you know, saying what I do and “Isn’t Match.com so crazy heh heh heh SLASH AWKWARD?” Nothing about Fight Club, obviously, I wouldn’t fuck myself over like that. He wants to know...
Get on the winking bandwagon
Last night I was on a mission ladies! I sent out FIVE winks - 5 whole winks!!! And, I got two emails this AM.
One is from a BK boy with tons of questions - we dont really have much in common, but he’s not fug and he seems to have some sort of a personality. He’ll do.
The other is from a boy who writes like he is turning in a paper for English class - tons of big words and sentence...
important →
I felt it was necessary for us to follow Is Gossip Girl New Tonight? You know, JIC.
-A
love is all around
There is a crazy man outside my window (don’t worry, I live four stories up, it’s cool) singing/screaming “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” at the top of his lungs. I have half a mind to run downstairs and ask him out. What have I got to lose? Except my wallet and perhaps a kidney. I do really want to win this contest, though.
Tough choices!
-A
A's first email
Okay, so I got an email from a guy on Match.com today. A guy named Dennis, who is 5’11” (!), Catholic (!!), a teacher (good), bald (whatevs), from Long Island (ugh, in the words of Match.com’s section on smoking, NO WAY!) but works in Queens (a little better?), and he has a Master’s degree in Education, which I think is pretty great. Okay, so I’ve decided I’m...
C sez...
Today I logged into match to do a little man perusing when I noticed I had a new email. From H, a 43 year-old from Wind Gap, PA. It reads:
Hi,
I clicked on a reverse match, and found your profile.
It says you are looking for a guy that drinks regularly and lives 8 miles from Brooklyn. Match has gone crazy, but who cares?
I just had to tell you, brief as you profile was, I found it...
M: "I think I'm in love."
Got an email from a nice gentleman wanting to grab a drink or coffee. He’s 32 and—get this, ladies—a personal trainer. Born in Argentina but of Italian descent. Yumo! What does he have as his tagline?
“I use to go out alot on the weekends to get totally drunk/wasted with my friends…..I still do, but I use to too :-P”
Keeper!
(What the hell does that even...
n's first batch of contenders
Twelve hours in I have received the following love interests from match:
1.) an email from a 54 year old man who lives in Brooklyn, works I’m liquor and wine (whatever that means), and strongly resembles Gary shandling ((says A and I agree). He wants to meet for drinks. First reaction was creepy crawlies down my arms, but I may keep him in the arsenal for later in the game when I need to...
Thoughts from A
Okay, so I just looked at my Daily 5. I guess Match.com finds 5 guys you might sorta be into while totally ignoring all the things that you said were important to you. Like, you guys both like dogs! But he’s five inches shorter than the height limit you set and also lives in Hackensack. ‘SUP WITH DAT?! So far unimpressed by Match.com’s ability to MATCH ME. Ugh. This is going to...
C sez...
It’s business, it’s business ti-ime!
Sun 01/25 1:46 AM—heading out to the bar to meet men.
“Want to go out on Feb 1st at 6:00AM? Great thanks.”
M's feelings on day one
Ok, peeps.
I have to say, when this first got started, I was real enthusiastic because I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE.
And now, here I am, forty bucks poorer and drunk.
May the best clownpenis win.
(me, obvs)
“I’m afraid of the ring. Feels like you’re playing a carnival game...”
– M, regarding birth control
The Rules
FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB: YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Don’t tell any of the guys about the contest. Rule 1: Each of the contestants will subscribe to an Internet dating website (e.g. Match.com, Eharmony.com, Jdate.com, etc.) Nm, we all joined Match. Rule 2: Each contestant will have their profile created by the group at large. Each contestant will have consultation privileges on their...
M's potential Match.com user names
“7 kids and a mortgage”
“If I’m pregnant, I’m keepin’ it”