February 2012
1 post
Doesn’t labia majora sound like a Harry Potter spell? Imagine Hermione waving her wand and saying in a British accent, “Labia majora!”
I’m right about this.
-M
January 2012
1 post
M: ATSL Chicago Reunion (plus a sublime hookup)
Last weekend, the Single Ladies and few other friends (several of whom have appeared in this blog at one time or another) gathered in Chicago to celebrate some birthdays (A’s and mine, specifically). It’s like that time the gals from Sex and the City went to that desert in the movie sequel and rode camels. I don’t know. I didn’t see see that movie. And we didn’t ride...
November 2011
2 posts
Email Exchange Between A &M
A: Saw this and thought of you: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lunzz4dGGv1qdmfbco1_500.png
M: Ha! It’s funny cuz it’s true. I wonder if the names are arranged alphabetically, chronologically, or thematically. Mine would be thematically arranged, I think.
A: What are your fucking themes?
M: Origin of wanting to fuck: 1) Met/Noticed while traveling 2) Fictional characters...
M: Cultural Cliche Night
One of my library friends, Natasha, and I were feeling very sad at the lack of romantic action in our lives. I mean, we’ve been at grad school for almost a semester with nary a makeout between us. We decided to go on a major prowl on Saturday night to rectify the situation. We would not be denied.
We ended up talking quite a bit to some alums who were in town for the Michigan game. They...
October 2011
6 posts
M: Google Image, My One True Love
I google imaged for this post, as I usually do. The results are always amazing. This time, my search was “cute boy glasses.” The first result:
Love.
I googled “cute boy glasses” to find an example of what a man should wear if he has glasses. Obviously, the hotness potential is very high. Oh my god, my eyes just rolled back in my head thinking of hot men in glasses. I am...
“When Gloria Steinem said, in the 1970s, ‘We’re becoming the men we wanted to...”
– From “All the Single Ladies” by Kate Bolick, The Atlantic
A must, must, must read.
(via sarakatherine)
AUTO REBLOG!
“I really buy the idea that conflicts between couples usually come from speaking...”
– -A Dude.
True! I say “I love you” with incessant teasing, insults, and sarcasm. It’s not a widely spoken language. -M
M: Haymow
I am on to something with this softball business. I have another softball crush, and it looks promising. Hooray!
(Photo not representative of crush.)
Also tonight, I had my first earned double since grade school. Hooray! This sex is on fire.
About the crush: He plays center field, he is on the tall side of short, he is an engineering grad student, and his name is a part of a house. His ATSL...
M: A pattern develops
Short Stop was maybe supposed to visit this weekend, but I suspected that he wouldn’t. I didn’t clean anything or buy special food or remove body hair or anything. The first communion photo remains in a drawer, where it will probably just stay. It wasn’t adding much to my domicile besides reminding me how far I’ve fallen.
I have joined yet another softball team. Hope is...
September 2011
6 posts
2 tags
MP3: Florence + The Machine - "Shake It Out"
minneapolisfuckingrocks:
*MP3: Florence + The Machine - “Shake It Out”
The new album from Florence + The Machine, Ceremonials, will be out on 10/31 via Universal Republic.
ATSL Ex Wins Second Place in Prestigious... →
Context.
M: Spartacus news. →
Sad, sad, sad.
M: False Alarm
Short Stop cancelled the trip on Thursday. All that cleaning and waxing and grocery shopping for nothing! He is rescheduling for three weeks from now, and I will have to do the whole thing over again. He got an important job interview he apparently couldn’t reschedule. I THINK IF HE TOLD THEM THEY WERE INTERFERING WITH HIS SEX LIFE, THEY COULD HAVE FOUND A WAY TO ACCOMODATE HIM. Sometimes,...
M: Prep
Short Stop is driving six hours to see me on Friday. I have made a list of things to do before he gets here, including:
Wash all the dishes
Do all the laundry, including kitchen/bathroom/bedding
Unpack the unpacked boxes, or at least hide them
Vacuum hairballs
Hide the following things: framed picture of self at First Communion (thanks, Mom), romance novels, eczema cream, handmade quilt from...
August 2011
5 posts
“So i think [visiting you] in two weeks might work for me. Thoughts?”
– Oh Short Stop. I have so many thoughts. Most of them are variations on “PLEASE DON’T.”
M: EL SEXO
Alternate titles for this post:
SCOOOOOOORE
Touching All the Bases
Grand Slam
Grad School and the Single Lady, but also before I left, I Touched All the Bases
We obviously have a lot to talk about.
First, I will catch you up on the boys from previous posts who I wrote about so that when we boned, you’d have a little history on them. Well, I didn’t bone them.
Mr. Luxe: Kind of a...
N: Weeding through the toads...
When I read M’s post yesterday, I realized, I have been super bad about my updating of Summer Lovin’. Here’s a brief recap post Winky the Third…
The highlights (aka - the weirdos)
(1) “Keanu Reeves day-trader”: Within 10 minutes of meeting this ADHD schizo, I realized he was high - or at least I hoped he was high. I kept laughing at myself and him hoping for...
M
Two things:
1) Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love: I actually could not stop laughing when he was on screen because he is so hot. Ridiculously hot, and I could. not. stop. laughing. Witness:
And also about that, SPOILER, I GUESS: he plays a Bad Boy who falls in love and changes his Bad Boy ways for a girl who makes him laugh and talk about his feelings. I feel like this is such a terrible...
Patrick Bateman's New York: What Happened To The... →
sarakatherine:
Sure you’ll never get a reservation at Dorsia (because it doesn’t exist), but Patrick Bateman hung out in a bunch of very real 1980’s New York City restaurants and clubs. What has become of the world of American Psycho after 20 years?
Pretty fascinating stuff.
This made me remember Winky the Third…or as one of my friend’s refers to him - Patrick Bateman.
July 2011
1 post
“I just want to close my eyes and fall asleep happy, knowing that when Neville...”
– Pottermania! The Single Ladies are not immune.
June 2011
7 posts
“1. i cant believe you found a def for that fake word.
2. nice, i’ve seen...”
– This guy! I love technology. Now I have to name him. Tony Almeida, from 24. It’s uncanny. I will call him Tony Almeida. xoxo, M
“1. Have fun cabining. See definition #2:...”
– M: Sent this via facebook message to a guy I’ve been dancing around literally/figuratively for months. Decided tonight, drunkish, to make this shit happen. Via facebook. Ain’t no thang. So many pots on the stove right now. You can’t even handle this shit.
M: Newww Crushhhhh
I am in love again! Does he love me? Time will tell! Probably not!
But first, I know you all read The Hairpin because ATSL told you to, but let’s say you missed that/those post/s. Read this. Don’t you relate to that? I know I do. Gender differences! LOLforever.
So the new love! You may remember that I am currently employed at a restaurant in the Twin Cities. We recently hired a new...
N: In other exciting news....
Winky the Third is back in the picture - and it’s gettin’ freaky! I hadn’t heard from him since the night of me being a prude. I woke up yesterday morning though - thinking about him - and lo and behold he texted me at lunch yesterday with “plans tonight?” I DID have plans - so asked if he wanted to hang out another time this weekend. We’re hanging out Sunday...
N: Speedy Gonzalez's
Speed dating was not as quirky and horrible as I thought it would be, but it still wasn’t the best. I’m just going to bullet point highlights I remember, because overall, not that spectacular.
Pre=game successful! Thankfully, because there were not bar specials, so at $8 per G&T, it would have been pricey to get the buzz needed for what ensued.
The setting: Super unorganized. ...
N: Adventures in SPEED DATING
Los tres remaining NYC ATSLer’s (C, A and me) are using my last GroupOn purchase of discounted Speed Dating tickets tonight in the east village. We all got our hairs did (I went a little overboard with the bangs and got a feather weaved in thanks to inspiration from M), eyebrows plucked and summer frocks to wear.
I was reading the review of this bar on NY Mag, and...
May 2011
7 posts
N: The prude edition
Went on date #4 with Winky this past Saturday for dinner at a Mex place in his hood. Dinner was delightful, except for the part where he said he HATES people’s cooking and only goes out to eat - ever. When I told him I love cooking, he said “Well, please don’t ever cook for me.” No problemo buddy. I should have ordered margaritas, multiple, but I didn’t. Mistake...
N: Never pre-game a date
I went on date numero tres with Winky the Third last night and I was a MESS. We were meeting at 9:30 for drinks so of course I thought I had to pre-game my date with a HH, right? I guzzled three glass of Pinot chased with a cool bottle of Bud Light - all on an empty stomach - before I met up with him. I showed up pretty buzzed and 15 minutes late and thought the best thing in the world to do...
N: I'm ALIVE!
Against everyone’s advice and C’s palpable fear that I was going to be butchered on the UES Sunday night, I showered my hungover body and went to Winky the Thirds. Quiet a few people equated him to Christian Bale in American Psycho (and honestly I started freaking out a little) but fear is what makes things fun, right???
Anyways - it wasn’t too horrible. Awkward - yes. ...
N: Sunday 7:30P - It's on
So- Winky the Third just texted - 7:30P Sunday - his place. Movie. Pizza. Here’s my friend CT’s AIM reaction to this news.
CT:yeah, just don’t meet with him and don’t be mean but just tell him, you had a nice time yesterday N: but i feel bad for him
CT: bad?! he could kill you
N: like bad he needs help
CT: NO
N: He won’t kill me
CT: You can’t fix...
N: Toss up - The Third Winklevoss or Scott...
Went on another Matchy-Match last night - and going into it, I KNEW this guy and I were not going to be compatible, but I thought - eh - free drinks, fancy hotel bar, and who knows - a good story.
The Prep:
So “Winky the Third” as he will be called from here on out (although he more resembles the aesthetic of Mr. Scott Disick) actually winked at me on Match almost a month ago. I...
N: Striking out
I was supposed to tell this story a while ago, but I’ve been too busy being lazy, and now I’ve lost interst in the whole thing so the post is going to be blah. You’re welcome.
I was “dating” MC for over a month and things were going good. He even reached out to me at 4am (sober) on a Wednesday night to see how serious I was about us because I hadn’t contacted...
April 2011
4 posts
M: Triumphant Return
I’m feeling a little like this song:
And then I get a little misty. And then Diddy starts in, and I’m back to normal.
What am I talking about? Where have I been?
I am talking about visiting the Single Ladies in NYC the weekend after next! I’ve been here in lovely Minneapolis living la vida loca! One book that I will never write but could if I were a writer is the story of...
I’m the kind of girl who is quiet in large groups...
“I’m not great at not emotionally vomiting on a bro after we’ve had some sort of...”
– In Which Molls Handles Your Parents And Boyfriend For You - Home - This Recording
OMG I LOVE MOLLS’ ADVICE COLUMN.
Also, I was always really jealous of the girls who just like… KNEW THIS right off the bat. (There were like, three of them.) (I guess they were the ones who were never “insecure” or...
N: All things must come to an end
Full post to come later, but needless to say - my recent fling has come to a halt because boys are boys after all. And I will forever be lost in this game.
March 2011
1 post
N:Someone please punch the smile off my face
I’m a little bit in super, super LIKE with a boy I’ve been actually dating for almost a month now. I’ve never been in this much reciprocal like (at least not in the last half decade) and this seems too healthy for me to believe it’s true. I’m not writing anything about it until it’s a little more stable though - because I dont want a curse upon my house of...
January 2011
10 posts
N: 6 month commitment
I just spent an entire weekend with nothing but couples - being reminded consistently that a certain someone didn’t have time to hang out with me this weekend - and has yet to offer any plan or desire to meet up for over 2 weeks. Therefore, I’m getting serious ladies. I just paid $135 cold hard plastic for a 6 month subscription to match.com so that I can find some male...
relevant links
To My Wife
To My Husband
“If we’re having Fritos for breakfast, we might have to admit we’re...”
– C
A: well, the world needs its spinsters
So last night I had my first OKCupid date with the boy I’ve been calling (in that one post I wrote a while ago) Marshall, because he compared himself to Marshall Erickson in his profile. We had emailed (long emails, very detailed) back and forth for a while and on Wednesday while I was binge drinking at trivia (what a catch) he wrote me a message that suggested we meet for a drink. I wrote...
N: Carbo load and carbo cleanse...
As “A” mentioned, we are getting back in the saddle for 2011. I started in mid-Dec while taking the LIRR to Long Island for a Christmas party. I dated my little heart out on my iphone as I rediscovered my OKCupid account. I emailed a few studs who had contacted me months before, but in my hung up life, I never got around to emailing back. I had messages from:
(1) A guy I called...
ask a dude (the hairpin) →
The “Ask a Dude” section of The Hairpin is my new obsession (actually, The Hairpin is my new obsession, deal with it). Obviously it’s Gabe Delahaye writing them, and he’s actually insightful when he’s not being hilarious, so you SLs should read it, duh.
